When To Consider Assisted Living

Does your parent or loved one need more care? The following signs may indicate that it’s time to consider assisted living:

• An empty fridge, spoiled food, or weight loss, may mean they aren’t eating well because shopping and/or cooking is a challenge.
• Wearing the same clothes or neglecting personal hygiene, could indicate doing laundry and bathing is difficult.
• Forgetfulness, strange or unusual behavior, an inability to keep up with medications or appointments and similar issues can be signs of memory loss and confusion.
• Frequent bruises or other injuries from falling.
• Depression indicators like sitting alone in front of the TV all day, lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed or excessive sleeping.

Learn About Living Options

If your parent or loved one exhibits one or more of these signs, you may need to have a discussion about their living situation in the near future. Below is a list of some of the options you may wish to consider:

• A roommate or live-in caregiver in their current home.
• Moving in with a nearby family member or friend.
• Independent living (also known as retirement communities, retirement homes, senior housing, or senior apartments) — these communities are designed with seniors in mind, with smaller living spaces that are easier to navigate, and often have group activities and services.
• Assisted living is ideal for those who need assistance with some aspects of daily living, including help with medications, cooking, cleaning or personal care. The level of help required may vary, but the staff is available 24 hours a day.
• Skilled nursing care centers offer the highest level of care for seniors outside a hospital.

Factors for How To Choose a Senior Living Community

When looking for a senior living community, be sure to visit facilities at different times of the day and participate in a meal and activity during your visit. Asking for feedback on the facility from several residents and their family members will give you a more complete picture of what the facility, staff and management are like. When visiting, keep these 10 things in mind: 

• Staff friendliness and professionalism. Speak with staff at each facility. Staff should be relaxed, friendly and patient with you and with residents. Ask to speak with the management team and be sure you understand the staffing pattern and goals of the senior living community.
• Security and safety. Examine the features of the physical property as well as policies and procedures for staff. Be sure that entrances/exits, elevators, bathrooms, and outdoor areas are well maintained with good lighting, locks, grab bars and other safety features. Ask about night staff patterns, how staff responds to emergencies and any medical concerns specific to your parent or loved one. 
• Resident satisfaction. Observe and speak with residents of each facility and note whether they appear to be happy and interacting with one another.
• Location. Is the community near you, other family or friends who can visit regularly? Is it near grocery stores, drug stores and safe public transportation? How will your loved one get around? Are the neighbors friendly?
• Cleanliness. As you walk through the facility, note whether it seems clean and fresh. Ask how often housekeeping is provided in the rooms. Walk the grounds to be sure they are well maintained.
• Standard of care. Observe whether residents are well-groomed and dressed appropriately. Ask how changes in medical conditions are handled. At what point would a resident be required to move elsewhere for medical care? Ask as many questions as you need to until satisfied that your loved one will be treated with kindness, dignity and respect.
• Meals. Inquire about dining options, hours and procedures. Ask if the community is able to accommodate special diets and how it provides meals when a resident is ill or not feeling well enough to dine in the dining room.
• Activities. Ask about the variety and frequency of activities (both indoors and outdoors), trips and outings, religious services and holiday events. Is there a library? Chapel? Gym? Try to participate in a group activity and observe the attendance and interest level of the residents and staff.
• Cost. Senior housing pricing varies by location and encompasses both rent and care plan services — ask for a pricing breakdown from the community manager for detailed information. In the U.S., Medicare does not cover housing, but Medicaid may in some cases. Veterans may be eligible for ongoing benefits as well. Previously purchased Long Term Care insurance will cover all or some assisted living costs, depending on the policy. When inquiring about costs, be sure to find out how often costs are expected to increase and how much notice will be provided for such increases.
• Management. The management team plays a vital role in the quality and professionalism of a senior housing facility. Be sure to get an introduction to the management team and pay attention to all written and verbal communications you receive from them. Make sure that the facility is licensed and in compliance with local regulations.

Making the Move: Supporting Your Loved One During the Transition

Even under the best of circumstances, a move to senior housing or assisted living can be stressful and emotional. It is important to be sensitive to your loved one’s feelings as they adjust to their new environment. There may be feelings of grief, loss, confusion, fear or anger, which should be acknowledged with understanding and patience.

It’s also important to acknowledge your own feelings during this transition and ensure that you have the support you need to process those feelings and make the best of the change.

Some other ways to support your loved one are:

• Call and visit often. Make sure your loved one continues to feel loved and included in family events and outings if possible. Take an interest in their new friends, routines and daily activities.
• Help decorate or personalize your loved one’s living space. Find out what they are able to take with them to their new home and help them to feel more at home with objects that are meaningful to them, like family photos. Respect their choices and wishes in decorating their new space.
• Make a folder of useful information to help orient your loved one to their new space. Include things like a floor plan of the residence, a map of the neighborhood including grocery stores, post office, etc., a list of dos and don’ts for the facility, instructions for the TV or computer and important phone numbers.
• Listen to their feedback and address any issues that come up. Take concerns seriously and talk with them about how you will address the issue(s) together. Contact management to discuss concerns and solutions, and take time to ask about their process for receiving and addressing concerns or complaints.